Finding your purpose

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

I've talked about men finding their purpose often in my blogs, yet you may be wondering, how? If you were, then this blog will help you whether you are a man or woman. As human beings we have a basic need to find a way to contribute to society. Many people go through life wondering what they are doing and why they ae alive. These came be damaging thoughts, so knowing how to find your purpose will help you in confidence, life fulfillment, and a more optimistic view.

I remember being asked a child what I wanted to be. Without any hesitation, I would say proudly:

"I want to be a mom!"

The normally response after that was:

"Okay, what else?'

This question, I did not have an answer. In fact I was one of those kids that changed what career they wanted, every few months. Throughout my life the one part of me that has not changed was being a mother. Now I have a wonderful man and we have 3 beautiful children. I've also found other ways to bring in money and make a difference that I would not have had if I had followed the normal road everyone seems to take. I've known people that have had the same goal since they were young kids and followed it through to success later on. So you may be asking:

"How do I find this drive and purpose?"

Here are some questions to ask to help.

What did you love to do when you were younger?

I'm sure everyone goes through their boxes from childhood to find art, stories, baseball or other objects from something they loved to do when they were younger. I loved writing stories as a kid. I had the imagination, yet my grammar had much to be desired. Yet by writing and sharing with friends, my grammar improved. The stories also provided entertainment and joy to others in my lives. This is where I learned early on that I loved to make a difference in other's lives. It may only seem like a thirty minute read to some, but to those who read them, it was a highlight of their day. they were excited. After asking myself this question last year, the answer led me to writing my first children's story, Tick Tock Dinosaur. With some help from my kids, it was published last year on Amazon.

So when looking for your purpose, look at your childhood to what skills or activities you enjoyed, and see if you incorporate it into your life now. As children, the activities we enjoy are often forgotten as adolescence takes over. Something to keep in mind, the things we loved as kids, we loved without a care about other opinions. We did these because we loved them. If you loved working in the garden, maybe landscaping would be a fun career choice that you can work on till you can open your own business. Did you enjoy building computers? Building models of buildings? Art? Even if you like sports, maybe instead of playing them you can blog about them. The idea is to take that love you had as a kid and apply it to your life to show you options, and relight that childhood innocent love.

Are you ready for the struggles and can you handle them?

As a child I had no talent for drawing. Even my stick figures were lopsided and curved. One day, my father showed me a beautiful picture of a dragon he had drawn. It awoke my imagination as the many questions came forth. From that moment on, I had decided to learn to draw. It was painful. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, taking my drawings to my parents to see if they could tell what it was. My parents were not only honest with each other, but also to us kids. That's where the pain came from. It hurt to know that my picture of a dinosaur looked to them like an ash cloud. Still the inspiration and determination, maybe a bit of stubbornness, fueled me to keep trying. The day finally came when they looked at my picture and asked if it was a starved cat. I was elated. They could tell it was a cat. My first true victory after all this hard work. By the time I was in high school my art skills had grown to where I was invited to be a part of the senior art show as a Junior. My senior year I had actually sold one of my paintings.

"Great, but what's the point."

Don't worry, I'm not just telling this story for attention. The point is how much of a struggle it was in the beginning. No matter how much you love what you do, there will be struggles and obstacles you'll need to rise above. What you need to figure out is if your love of your job or career is enough to push you past the costs and achieve your goals. If you find out that it's not, then find something else. Not everything is going to work for everyone. So knowing what hardships, or mountains that could occur with the path you choose, will help you decide if you can overcome them. Failure may not seem like a feel good story, but with every failure you learn and adapt. The path you want to be on is the one where you can handle the stress, and adapt to sudden changes to achieve what you dream.

What makes you forget time itself?

This may seem weird but in all honesty, is there an activity where time seems to stand still? Where distractions just become black noise. Someone called your name 6 times before you even realized they were there. For me, it was any kind of art. In school during the art courses, I often fell into a state where everything else would disappear and my entire focus was on my art. It would be calming and trying to talk to me while I was working would require people repeat themselves, as they call my name. Most of the time, they just left me alone as it was easier. It would just absorb my attention and focus.

Finding out what you become so focused on that you loose time, and then apply itself or a part of it to life itself. Maybe those long time lost with video games had nothing to do with the games but instead about the self improvement and competitive spirit. With that in mind, your own business or a career where you can be competitive and self improve may be your path.

Are you open to criticism?

Part of success is knowing when to ask for help. It's embarrassing when something you have worked so hard for, and someone is able to do the same job in a more efficient way. At this point, the best you can do is ask how they did it. Time is money, and if you can do the same job in a faster, as well as more efficient, then it frees up your time. Freeing up your time could mean getting more jobs in a day. It could mean getting home 20 minutes earlier so you can put more effort into side hustles. By being open to criticism, you'll be open to new processes and be able to improve. If you see a youtuber who is doing really well compared to you, why not ask how they did it? The worst they could say is that they aren't interested, or ignore you. If they do get back, the tips they share may help improve your own channel. If they tell you something you are doing wrong, don't jump to defending yourself and actually try to understand. This is not to mean that every advice should be listened to. Some people are known to give wrong advice to damage someone else. To prevent this, research. In a spectacular age where information is at the tip of your fingers, it is easier then ever to find better ways to reach your goals, if you are willing to put in the work. While some, like me, learned early on how to deal with criticism, others may face it till after college. Being able to listen to different perspectives will also gain respect from those you interact with. Keep in mind that just because the normal path is taken by many, that doesn't mean a less traveled path won't get you to your goals faster.

How can you make a difference?

No, this is not going to be a paragraph about saving the world. Yes the world is royally messed up. Most of us don't even recognize the world we're living in and wonder if it is the same one we grew up in.

So what can you do?

There are a lot you can do and doesn't need to be solving world hunger. Simple things like donating blood, donating food to a shelter, even blogging can make a difference.

Why does this matter?

Humans want to feel like they've made a difference. Not only does it make us feel good, but it also helps others, whether in a direct or indirect way. I had a customer years ago at my first job, who would come in every Sunday to get a breakfast sandwich. Being young and maybe a bit overly optimistic, I would smile and would take time to talk with him. He admitted later that the communication and smile first thing helped him get through his day. While this may not be on the world stage of change, it was important to the customer and did change his day. In a time where the world just seems to be on a long roller coaster ride, doing even something small can give you a warm feeling that will spread through out your life. As a blogger, I took steps to inform my readers of associations to donate in order to help Ukraine. While this may seem small, if even one person donates, then I've made a difference. Even with my normal blog posts about relationships and life in general. If even one of my posts helps someone, then I've made a difference.

So take a look at your life and see how you want to make a difference. Maybe you work in construction and there is an organization that is looking for volunteers to help after a disaster. Maybe you want to make a donation to a charity or donate your clothes to someone in need. Giving books to libraries, tutoring and many more can give you that chance to make an impact. You don't need to save the world, but you can change one person's life for the better.

What is a better way to spend your time?

Time is money. How you decide to spend your time will make a difference in your future goals. For instance, what are you doing while the water is boiling for the noodles you'll make for dinner? Are you going through social media? People who have a purpose would spend this time researching instead. I don't mean forget that you had the water boiling. Light research to where you won't loose track of time. Learning to multitask will help you spend your time more efficiently in order to reach your goals. If one of your short term goals is weight loss, why not do some exercises while you wait for the water? If you are investing money, you could be research new stocks to grow your income or grow your portfolio. This is a change in habit for many, that will set you on the right path towards success.

Are you ready to take risks?

We all know that one person who will give you a reason not to do something because of risk. They won't help you find a way, and instead tell you not to do it. Taking risks is an action many people with a purpose take in order to get to their goals faster. They could be the person who starts looking for a better paying job instead of getting stuck with their current employer. Investors, business owners would all be considered the type to take risks. These risks are calculated, despite what many people will tell you. They are not all just lucky. Writing a book is considered a risk because people may not buy your book. Knowing if you are ready to take calculated risks to achieve your goals will allow you to look at life in a different way. You'll be less likely to become stuck as you'll keep looking for ways to drive forward and better yourself. If you never risk anything, how will you ever grow beyond?

Where do you want to be or visit?

Having visible goals and milestones are important to pushing you on your purpose. Many people are visual and a poster or a picture of where they want to go will help keep them motivated. A beech, country, or even a beautiful place they saw online can be a great way to keep you on track. Others are more number based and having number based goals help them. This could be getting rid of debt, increasing income per year, increasing stocks or savings and so on. Maybe you really want to learn a dance and one of your goals is enough for dance lessons. Having your main goal, and then have milestones on how to reach them will keep you from becoming overwhelmed at the distance your goal may seem at the moment. Even if you have to write it down in 5 different places, figure out your milestones to your goal. Completing small milestones will start getting you excited for the next one.

Now that you have basic questions that will start you thinking about your purpose or goals, here is some awesome advice from a blogger I read last year. I've tried to find his post but I can't find it right now, so if I do find it later, I'll edit this post.

Ask those closest to you this question:

"What is a quality or qualities I have that you admire about me?"

Yes I did ask this to those closest to me, and it helped me a lot with my blog and books. The number one answer was my nurturing personality. Something I personally never thought of to be admired, was admired most by those around me. This actually set me down the path to be a blogger in order to help others. So ask those who've known you forever, those who are your family, maybe not by blood but because you chose them to be your family. This can include family members as well as friends or people you've looked up to. Finding out the answer to this question will help you by seeing how you can put these qualities most admired to use. Now these are qualities and has nothing to do with the appearance. So don't let others chicken out by saying they admire your looks. After you get these responses, then go back to the rest of the questions and write down answers. Compare all the answers and see how you can incorporate it all into a goal, passion or purpose.

That's all for this blog post but I really hopes this helps anyone who may need this. If you have a opinion or a story of your own about this topic, leave a comment and let me know what you think. Have a topic for a blog post? Go to my website and e-mail me and I will thank you when I type the blog. Want to help support me? Share the blog, subscribe to the e-mail, or become an affiliate to help bring traffic. In a world where having an opinion that differs from the current ideologies, traffic helps me stay independent through ads shown on my site. If you want to make a donation go my website where you will see a donate button through Paypal. Thank you to all of my current subscribers and affiliates for the support as I work to bring you new perspectives, or even just a fun read. Stay tuned for the next blog!