Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,
Today we'll be talking about why you should NOT throw away your man's stuff from his ex. "Um no, holding on to the stuff from his ex means he still loves her." See, this is why we need to discuss this topic. So no matter if you happen to see a box in his storage bin from long ago, or you are the type to want him to remove all evidence that he was ever with another girl, read on. You may be surprised what you learn about yourself.
Do you hold on to stuff from your ex: Seriously this questions needs to be answered more often. If you have stuff from your ex, where on this green earth do you think you have the right to demand anything from him about the stuff he keeps? In all reality, unless you are a throw away type of girl after an ex, you really should look at the stuff you have and decide on if it's fair of you to judge him if you also have stuff from your ex. Remember, it's 2022 now, ladies we are striving for equality. Right? So along the lines of equality is if you have stuff from your past relationship, you really don't have much ground to stand on here.
Travel: There is no reason to force a guy to get rid of pictures of where he traveled. I don't care if it is a picture of them at Mardi Gras and she is wearing just about nothing next to him. No one should get rid of pictures of where they have traveled to. Why? Because traveling opens the eyes and soul when you go to new places and experience new cultures. It helps to shape who you are. It becomes a significant part of why you are who you are. You will never understand someone fully until you know where they have traveled. In fact, instead of getting angry, why not ask? "When was this taken hun? You look like you're having fun." or "I've always wondered what Mardi Gras is like. Is it really like the movies?" Open communication ladies. You may find there is still more about your man you don't know.
Cards or notes: I can hear the noise from here. "But what is written in that letter is so personal!" First off, why are you reading it? Does he know you are reading it? Who cares if it is personal? I'm sure you've written worse. Look ladies, it's not really that big of a deal. They may have sentimental value to him because that one cheated on him. Maybe he keeps it to make sure not to make the same mistake again. Again, open communications with him. Tell him the truth that you were either snooping through his stuff, or you thought it was a letter from one of your past relationships and ask him. Men are simple if you let them be. If you ask, you'll be surprised at the honesty you'll receive in return.
He probably forgot: This one I'm sure a lot of guys can relate to. "I don't even remember putting that in there." or "That bin is years old, I had forgotten what stuff was in there." Yeah. Sorry ladies but it's most likely the least amount of drama version. He probably just forgot about it. This is why you should ask him and open lines of communication. If he forgot about it, then by open up communication and asking first, you avoid a argument over it. How silly would you feel if you were getting so pissed off about it and turns out he barely remembers sleeping with her?
You're jealous: Pretty straight forward here. If it really bothers you that much, then you have low self esteem and should work on your self first. Ladies when you take care of yourself and treat your man well, he would have no reason to wonder about the past. Yes there are outliers but I do not write my blogs based on outliers. It really shouldn't bother you if the relationship is going well and nor should you let it ruin a great relationship. So work on making your self feel amazing every day so this jealousy doesn't destroy a good future.
Mementos: Some of the stuff from his past relationships may have a deeper meaning then what you are trying to slap on him. Maybe they symbolize a major change in his life that turned out for the better. Maybe she helped him grow but they mutually decided to go separate ways. You never know how important something is to another persona. To have complete disregard for that "stuff" is showing a disregard for their past and for them.
Okay so what now? Well step one is communication. Always ask. The answer may be a lot simpler than you thought. Next? Let him decide when to throw it away. Unless he looks at the box everyday, then let him figure it out. When they are ready to let go they will. They won't if you try to force the issue. Ask yourself, why does it bother you so much? Do you think you are failing as a spouse? Do you feel competition from a women he let go off so long ago? Most men, do not date a women again if the relationship ends, especially if she messed it up. If the answer to these questions are yes then it's time to look at yourself and see where you can improve so this doesn't happen again. There are of course creepy things that if kept are a bad sign, but I don't write my blogs on outliers.
Final thoughts? Stop demanding a guy to get rid off his memories. How about he decides when he is ready? After all you don't want him to go snooping through your stuff to find that nasty, hot letter you wrote to someone years ago do you? If you do try to do this, know that this is a red flag for men. So don't be surprised when it back fires on you.
Thank you for reading and as always, take a hold of your own future.
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