Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,
You’ve probably heard that you should avoid transactional personal relationships. In fact, just on google, you can find the first 10 articles about how bad it is and unhealthy for a long term relationship. So what are transactional relationships? These are defined as a business-like approach to a relationship, where you both expect something in return. This can be considered bad if the other party doesn’t hold up their end of the bargain, leaving you resentful.
So are there negatives? There are positives and negatives to every thing, so yes. So why am I suggesting this approach with so many articles against it? Let's dive into it.
Now these articles that hate so much against the transactional relationships have me laughing since, they are the same that would argue for a 50/50 split on chores. When I talk about transactional, I don't mean go be a robot about it. You are not always going to get 100% of what you put in back from somebody. Taking a look at chores for example. Maybe one of you gets sick, injured, or family dies. Generally, the one not affected or less affected will pick up the slack for the other. There is nothing wrong with this and most would agree that this is fair. It becomes unfair if when the roles are reversed and the partner refuses to do what was done for them. Especially if they get ridiculed for asking partner to pick up slack. Same with friends or family. Are you always there for them every time they call, cry or need you? Are they there for you? These are important questions to ask yourself so you start seeing the world in a better view.
Why? So it'll be harder for other's to use you. It's not perfect but it should significantly help you when it comes to relationships with, family, friends, and romantic relationships. Another example of a transactional relationship is with kids. Yes they can't do much, but s kids get older, it was normal (at least before the 90's) that kids do chores and help with the house as they age. The only difference is we as parents know that we put a lot more into kids than we get back. Most of us are okay with that understanding and if the kids are raised well, many still help their parents out as they get older and in worse health.
As with many of the work terms, (working your wage, quiet quitting, and more) transactional relationships are regarded with a negative light. Now if you look into who are the people who seem to be enraged by these work terms, you'll find they tend to be business owners, CEO"s, VIP's, and so forth. So always be on the lookout for who dismisses transactional relationships. Many of them are "modern love experts".
Now again, I never suggest for you to focus on only giving if you are going to get equal value. Which is what many people believe is wrong with this type of relationship. What they are describing is what I call, "An equal exchange" relationship. Essentially, The principle of Equal Exchange typically says what a person will trade/give for must have an equal value to what the person trades/gives with.
The difference between the two is one based in more general terms while the other is you giving only what you get in return.
Transactional is more of a general view of the relationship. Some people compare it to traditional roles to which, I would agree. While a homemaker on the outside does not look like it has equal value to her husband's 200K income, to the couple, her work in the home is enough to balance out the equation.
When first dating, why would you spend 100's of dollars on a girl who has done nothing except get dressed up for you? You shouldn't because you both barely know each other, and in today's day in age, it's more likely she's looking for a free meal. So instead, on a general basis, restrict how much you spend on how long you know her, or how she treats you. If she treats you like a King, then you can treat her like a Queen. If she treats you like a rug, then wash off her muddy baggage and move on.
Ladies, this means you too! Stop treating every man like a King. Stop opening your legs for every guy after the first date. Be aware of the men that talk with words coated in honey and sugar. If a guy really has a slick tongue, there is a reason he has one. Don't trust him.
Both genders need to learn how to set decent boundaries so they don't get used by their friends, family and romantic partners. So try transactional relationship out. Remember that it is general and not give only what you get like an equal exchange relationship.
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