I know it's been four days from my last post. I do apologize for any disappointment this may have caused you, even if you just read the blog for entertainment. This week was a bit hectic with taxes, new year budgeting plan and so forth. Don't worry, you as my readers will be getting three posts to read today including, "what you could be doing with your taxes instead of spending it all." If you haven't already, check it out in my finances category! Tomorrow I'll be back to my normal posting.
This post today will be discussing the term, "Ghosting" Many of you know what this means or have had it done to you. So let's discuss.
Ghosting is a new dating term, used to describe the action of someone suddenly cutting off communication with you by not responding. Generally this is when the person being ghosted is unaware of this decision and the action is very abrupt. Some people do not like this as it leaves the relationship, no matter if it's romantic or not, without closure. Leaving questions as to why the sudden halt in communication. Some can handle this action very well, on another hand, and this action doesn't bother them as they move on with their life.
Why: This has a simple answer. Ghosting saves the person from a confrontation, taking responsibility or every now and then it is done on purpose in terms of revenge. Most often it is known as the easy way out.
Did I do something wrong: Not necessarily. It may be difference in religion, or difference in wants in a relationship. You may be looking for long term while they be searching for a casual relationship.
What do I do: Well the first is to understand it could happen. By accepting that it could happen you'll be less likely to be distressed when it does. With the online dating taking the limelight in today's society, ghosting is extremely easy. A simple block of the number and blocking on social media is much easier, especially if you don't live near each other, than facing someone who lives near you and where you may have to face them. With this in mind and the understanding that it could happen, you'll be better prepared for it.
Then you want to understand that, just like when you ask someone out, you will survive. It may hurt but don't let it bother you. If you end up caring if someone ghosts you after you two just started talking then you will end up wasting energy on people who probably had no intention of giving the relationship as much as you would have. If you get ghosted don't try to pursue the person, instead delete them. This simple action will be freeing as you are taking a stand that this type of behavior is not okay and prevents them from trying to win you back.
What if he is playing hard to get: Yes, there is a behavior going around where men talk to you a lot in the first two weeks and then stop talking and texting. There is an idea that this drives a women crazy for them and have them eating out of the palm of their hands. The reason why this is going around is because it does work. Women do have a tendency to grab onto someone who suddenly ghosts them because they don't handle rejection well. Should you act this way? No. Even for a casual relationship, you should put down some boundaries and not let your self be fooled by this game. The men who play this game are not looking long term. If you are looking long term, you don't need to involve with someone who plays these games because they won't value you at the same level. If a man is interested in you, you won't have to question it. He may not be available 24/7 but he will not stop talking to you for long periods of time that would give the competition the ability to come in. Remember men don't share what they cherish. If you aren't looking long term and just want a fun night, why would you play this game at all? You're looking for casual, not someone who will take you on an emotional roller coaster. So no matter what you are looking for, if you think someone is playing this game then call it quits if a week goes by with no answer.
If you are man who is being ghosted then the same applies to you. Time is money and you don't want a women who plays games with you instead of taking the relationship seriously. If you want a casual relationship, then why even think about playing this game? You don't want something serious. So don't play it or you'll find yourself in an annoying web of games that you can't tell where the beginning and end are.
She/he contacted me again after two weeks of no communication, should I answer: No. If they played that ghosting game the first time, they will play that game or others in the future. They may be contacting you because you blocked them instead of falling at their feet, or because you are suddenly more successful without them. In either case you do not want to waste your time as the likely hood they learned from their lesson is minimal. Instead take the time block them again and find someone who fits what your goals are in your relationship. Again, you will survive from being ghosted and can easily find someone better than trying to beat them at their own game.
Other reasons for ghosting: The most common reason someone ghosts another person is to avoid the confrontation. So if you were ghosting several times in a row, maybe look at your personality and see if you come off as someone, who if told about the end of a relationship, would freak out, yell or throw things. If this is how you would react maybe work on yourself before entering into another relationship. Self improvement will not only make you feel better about yourself, but it will also improve the relationships you have around you.
I hope this helps any of you in the future. Remember this is only an action, and you will survive, even if it takes a bowl of ice cream. Remember to take your future into your own hands.
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