Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,
I saw a post today about women refusing to take men's last names, and then complaining that the men ended the relationship. So, is it wrong to not take his last name? Lets try to answer this question.
The history may be harder to find then you think. With this new topic so heavily debated, many women try to over simplify what taking a man's name means. In fact I even found it hard to find a good article. Google's first few pages are about women expressing that this tradition needs to end! There are articles explaining that it's due to the property exchange that took place and her becoming his property. Okay so she (usually family) gives a dowry to the husband. Now some of you may be outraged. But slow down. Let's look at what she gets in turn.
Usually both want kids so we'll take kids out of the picture since this is equal. What else does she gain by being uprooted from her family? What about safety? Her father is getting older, and this is a time where the life expectancy wasn't 80 years old. Now you may argue. "What about when women were forced to be married to those old men?" Protection still applies. As long as she has a son from him, the property is passed to her son when he dies. While she may not have owned the property, she was able to manage till her son came of age.
So she gets protection. "Who cares!" you may say and insist you can defend yourself. Well I'm not going to stop you from fighting against that instinctual part of almost every female that wants a man to protect her. In fact if you want a man to take your last name, and stay at home with the kids and you be the provider, go for it. Just realize what that comes with. That means that man will not be the first line defender of your home. You will be.
"Uh, no. It's a man's job."
Wait! I thought it was the fight for equality?
Look ladies, at the end of the day no one wants to be a stupidvisor. We don't want the title with out any power to be able to do our job right. Bluntly speaking, you are asking a man to fill the normal feminine role and yet demand he fill his masculine role when you are in danger? Ladies, it's not a light switch! He can't go from being Mary Poppins to the hulk by a snap of your fingers. To be honest, why would he want to? You are the provider, you are making all the decisions about the house and money, you leave the child care to him, why don't you learn to defend your family as he would have had to?
Or, maybe stop complaining about such meaningless things. Who cares if you need to do administrative tasks to change your last name to his? Who cares what kind of ring he got you? Ladies during a time when men are already against getting married do you dare to complain about a guy who is asking you and wants you to take his last name? Or you hate the ring he gave you? Maybe you need to read more of those articles of 40 year old women who are single and alone because they were too picky. If this is truly your opinion, then by all means, go for it.
Don't blame the men when you are alone. Men have been yelling about what they want and you all refuse to listen. Don't go blaming them when they find much better prospects that won't give them as much as a headache after the "I do's" Don't blame the men when you can't get pregnant by a guy, only to find out he can't have kids do to a vasectomy he got at 24. I hate to say this again, but you are loosing the war. Those of us with traditional values are looking specifically for the men who are willing to protect us and our children. We are looking for the first line defenders and we are not making the mistakes you are. So by all means, keep complaining about the men's last name and the ring they spent time to get you. You'll push your selves right out of the market.
Final thoughts? If a man has made the decision that you are the one he wants to spend his life with even with all the different prospects he has, take his last name and stop complaining. If he decides to get you a ring, who cares what it looks like? Yes, both the band and the name change is a sign that you are a part of his family and under his protection. If you want to be the main provider, you want him to take care of the children, you want him to take your last name, then go all the way. Learn to defend your family and become the first line defense of your family. Otherwise, change or watch as you are 40 years old, with 10 cats and alone.
Picture thanks to Canva: https://partner.canva.com/XxrkWM
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